We had a conversation yesterday about me needing seduction, for real. Because of where we are sexually, most days I don’t have a large need for seduction a lot. Don’t get me wrong, in a lot of little choices, hubby does seduce me daily. That being said, yesterday I needed more. Fortunately, we have talked about all of this so hubby knows what that looks like for me. There is a famous book called Sex Begins In the Kitchen that many pastors use to teach our men to “be nice to the girl” (stolen from Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, Mark Gungor). I’ve heard hubby tell men that for years as they are wondering why it is that their wife won’t have sex with them or she is less than enthused when she does. Because of this challenge, I am dependent on hubby not only being nice to me (which is more often than not), but choosing to seduce me throughout the day. I’m a girl, I need that for motivation and to bring my mind back to him.
What does that look like for me? It begins in the morning, hubby is up before me so, he makes coffee. When I awaken, I start reading in my YouVersion and the notifications let him know I’m awake. Many days, he brings me a cup of coffee and says good morning. Yes, I can get my own coffee, but how cool is it that he seduces me in that way? Before he leaves for work, he prays with me and kisses me! I really love mornings. Throughout the day, hubby sends me texts and emails letting me know he’s thinking of me and sometimes what he wants me to look forward to that night. Those little gestures lead me to a deeper thought life regarding our sex life. As a woman, my mind doesn’t jump much to sex throughout the day without help from hubby. I’ve spoken with a lot of women that would agree that is true. I am so grateful to have a husband that gets that, and I pray through our blog, men will learn some of hubby’s secrets to success at seducing our hearts.
Probably the biggest difference in hubby and I in the bedroom is the heart part. Through many discussions I’ve discovered that it doesn’t take much for a man, they are visual and they typically like what they see visually with the wife they chose. One of the best things hubby said made him so wired for me is that I am fulfilling one of my core desires to have a beauty my own to unveil. When I offer myself, unveiled, freely, and without shame, his eyes say it all! That was not an easy thing for a me! In summer 2013, during our 30 day bible study, I started offering my vulnerability to hubby physically and emotionally, it was one of my best choices to date. I didn’t like my body, I know my scars, I know my imperfections and they aren’t the world’s idea of beautiful. Hubby says he doesn’t really see any imperfections, especially in the heat of passion! They are there, the scars, the excess stuff, the imperfections and I decided that year to embrace who God made me with my husband and I will encourage EVERY woman to do the same. To have your man appreciate you with his eyes is a gift that the enemy is out to steal, I won’t let him into that place in our marriage anymore, WE are worth more! Because of my offer, hubby seduces me and I am truly a highly blessed and highly favored woman.