How Much Attention is Enough?

Hubby and I were having a conversation yesterday about something and he started using his yardstick to compare himself to other men. It is rather humorous to me when he does this, but this time he was convinced it’s true (he’s convinced most times, lol). He says that he pays more attention to me than any man he knows pays to their wife. I started with my return comment that he should be grateful that I am better in bed than any woman I know because he reaps that benefit (it wasn’t nice I know), the truth being, that we don’t live in a house with anyone but us so therefore we can’t know who is doing what. From the outside looking in, he is probably rather accurate on his belief, there are few men that I see after 25 years of marriage, still holding hands with their wives. Not only holding hands, but gazing upon them in public with a kind eye and genuine desire for, as hubby does with me. I am blessed and we have worked at it as you know.

Back to the disagreement, I decided to ask him how he could possibly know that and that led to a discussion about that very topic. I wanted to share some of it with our readers today. So, how much attention do we need to offer our spouses? Hubby and I work together, attend groups together, attend church and functions for church together, we eat lunches together, we go on date, of course together, we spend the weekend with each other, but with all of that, how much attention do we pay to one another? We are carving out our time for God and friends, but it seems we are always together and yet at times with him, I feel alone. That is something we have worked diligently on this year, distractions can consume us, kids being around can pull our hearts and attention, and simply needing space in our own minds sometimes keeps us from connecting. We are better at managing the distractions and have committed to work on our shortcomings with that and I absolutely see growth in us both. I am sure because of the end of TheChallenge, I am a bit sensitive to my feelings. I certainly don’t want to be everything to hubby, nor him be everything to me, we’ve actually tried that and it isn’t a successful scenario, so I am leaning in to God to find that balance in our new season.

I will be the first to admit that I have an incredible hubby. He was given to me from God as my Knight in this world. He is faithful, integrous, loyal, kind, serving, and loving. I stopped there because I don’t want anyone to throw up. He really is the kind of guy that a lot of women would be blessed by, I am grateful I got to be that woman. I pray he sees value in me as his wife, I pray he never regrets the choice to start and build a family with me. I pray I never be so self-involved (again) that his heart and feelings don’t matter, I don’t want him to give up more than he already has for me due to illness. I ask God to fill in the gaps where hubby isn’t supposed to fill and only HE can offer that anyway. I definitely need attention in this world, sometimes hubby is great at it and sometimes he really stinks, my lesson is this: God gives me abundantly all I need, so hubby is the icing on the cake.

Hubby, I may be asking for too much attention in this matter, I free you to do what you need to do and pray God leads us in it all. I love you and pray our conversations will help others as they read.

“Then I told them how the gracious hand of God had been on me…” Nehemiah 2:18

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